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firsteditionbfs - text, the day after the Never Have I Ever
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@fistfight
Date: 2022-12-02 02:52 pm (UTC)Re: @fistfight
Date: 2022-12-05 08:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-12-06 12:30 pm (UTC)[Fortunately, Squall doesn't have to puzzle over that baffling non-answer for too long; Zell's at his room within half an hour, knocking on the door.] Yo, Squall, you in there?
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Date: 2022-12-08 07:31 pm (UTC)[Squall is quick to go to the door when Zell arrives, having brought home some homemade cookies for them to share if Zell wanted something to munch on.]
Hey, you okay?
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Date: 2022-12-09 02:34 am (UTC)[He pauses.] Well, y'know, major for us. Seifer...had a nightmare about Ultimecia last night. He freaked out really bad. Ended up punching a mirror. I healed him up, he's fine and everything, but...
I was thinking about some of the stuff he said.
[He fidgets.] If I ask you a question...promise you won't laugh, okay?
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Date: 2022-12-09 07:56 pm (UTC)That's...worrying still. He's probably going to have nightmares often for awhile....
[There is a frown as he gets comfortable and rubs his own chin, a sure sign he is worried himself.]
I won't laugh at whatever it is so ask away and thank you for caring about Seifer. You two could have woken me up if you needed. Maybe next time if tehre is one?
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Date: 2022-12-10 12:47 pm (UTC)But yeah, he is pretty preoccupied this morning, too.
He sits down next to Squall, and it is a sign that he's already adjusted some to this new Squall in how he immediately leans into his shoulder. Maybe it's a little worrying to see him need/want the comfort here, but there's something positive in Zell's going for it without hesitation, trusting Squall will be okay with it.] Yeah. I didn't realize until he freaked out and rushed into my room, but...yeah, makes total sense he'd have nightmares after what he went through. I guess he dreamed Ultimecia messed with him again...made him hurt me. He had to come - see I was still okay.
[He grimaces.] And yeah, I know we could've called you, but...Seifer doesn't wanna be coddled. Like, really doesn't wanna be coddled. When I suggested he sleep with me 'cause it might help... [He looks at a nondescript part of the floor, very pointedly Not At Squall.] Well, you should've heard him. I mean, he did sleep with me, that wasn't the problem, but when I made it sound like he might need it, might need us...he couldn't have reacted worse if he was allergic. No way would he have put up with having you called over in the middle of the night 'cause he had a bad dream. If you were there already, maybe, but not calling you out just to make him feel better.
[His hands are in his lap, one gripping the other, fidgeting slightly. The grip tightens.] Anyway, listen, I just wanted to ask...how do I make Seifer respect me? Y'know...like he respects you.
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Date: 2022-12-15 03:03 pm (UTC)That's...man that's rough. I'm sorry you had that happen Zell. I mean I'm glad you were able to calm him down enough to rest again but I'm sorry he snapped at you.
[He pulls his legs onto the couch and closer to his chest, trying to figure out what could actually help Zell. It's been so long that he's not even sure he's good interacting with Seifer all the time.]
Seifer....is kinda like an abused and abandoned puppy. At least...that's how I picture it. He might bite your hand cause you got too close but it's not cause he hates you, it's his own fear. All I can really say is just keep showing you mean well, show that you can be trusted and let him come to you. As for the respect? I'm not sure I have it myself. We were rivals as long as I could remember so I just...assume it was that need to one up me or something in him that maybe turned to some form of respect, even if I don't see it.
[He looks over at Zell and ruffles his hair a little.] If anything I think he respects you more. He goes to you for comfort, not me. He's almost always with you and when it's just me and him? Well to be honest it gets awkward and I think that's mostly my own fault. He's different with you, he does respect you Zell. If anything I think he respects you more than me. Yeah he can be rude with the nicknames but it's hard to kick habits sometimes. [He sighs and leans back more into the couch.] It's hard to do and you're right to be upset in it bothering you but I don't think he really means any of it. He loves you.
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Date: 2022-12-15 03:31 pm (UTC)But...I know he respects you. You can't be rivals with somebody you don't see as an equal, y'know? And he's seen you as one for years, you know that. But he doesn't look at me that way. It's not just the nicknames. When I suggested him doing something that worked for me to help him...it was like I'd insulted him. Acted like the idea of doing that, of needing that, was pathetic. He's better than I am 'cause he doesn't need to stoop to the kinda stuff I do...that's how he's always been. I'm not as strong as he is - I mean, not like physically, but more than that - and he knows it. And even when he likes me - he still knows it. He can't stop knowing it. He probably wouldn't have acted like that if he hadn't been freaking out, 'cause he's not trying to be a dick about it, but he was freaking out and he made it obvious.
You can like someone - even love them - without respecting them, I think. Lots of people like Headmaster Cid, but not too many people respect him, y'know? But I don't wanna have Seifer look at me like that all the time. Even if he tries to pretend he's not. So I wanna figure out how to prove to him that if he gets compared to me, or if he does something I do...it's not some kinda automatic insult to him. I think if he did something you did, he'd feel like it made him stronger...but with me, he thinks it'll make him weaker. I wanna prove him wrong.
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Date: 2022-12-15 03:47 pm (UTC)I mean...Maybe he doesn't acknowledge you give him comfort but you do. The way he acted around you in the mansion is so different how he acts around me. Hell, you two are dating before me and Seifer even know what we're doing. I noticed how he looks at you Zell, he cares deeply for you and I don't think I really agree about loving someone without respecting them. If you didn't respect someone I can't see a relationship ever working out. It wouldn't be right....[He thinks back on his own relationships, mainly his with Rinoa and to him that was a case of love with no respect.] I think that's what me and Rinoa had. I...still can't really explain my own feelings but with her I felt more like an object, a status symbol. When I think of my relationship with Cloud though I don't feel like that. He cares about me and sometimes it's hard to always notice but he does and I'm someone he can come to when he needs it. I never felt that way with Rinoa. I shouldered a lot by myself with her and ti shouldn't be like that. You and Seifer I think fit more along with me and Cloud.
[He just sighs once more and closes his eyes] I doubt I'm helping you at all right now. Maybe you two are just so similar you're butting heads or maybe you're right and he doesn't respect you. I don't agree with it but if that is the case then go be stern with him. Tell him it's not okay for him to say those things. That's what I would do. It might start an argument but I think he likes it when he sees someone stand up to him. It shows a strength there. You're one of the strongest people I know so I know you can do it. I have full trust that it will work out. Just remember some things that work for you might not work for others, but he shouldn't just be dismissive over it.
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Date: 2022-12-17 08:28 am (UTC)Hey. You up?
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Date: 2022-12-19 03:13 am (UTC)Hey, was sleeping. Everything okay?I'm up now.
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Date: 2022-12-19 04:23 am (UTC)[Apparently, someone has been talking to Seifer...]
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Date: 2022-12-19 04:47 am (UTC)I don't really have a choice do I? I'll be up. I'm with a guest though.
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Date: 2022-12-19 04:59 am (UTC)Soon enough, the growl of the motorcycle engine is audible outside the apartment building, before Cloud cuts the ignition and texts again:
Out front now.
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Date: 2022-12-19 06:43 am (UTC)He does grab a bag of wrapped items before heading down stairs with his slippers on, a pair of short shorts despite the cold winter air and a white shirt with his usual jacket on and Lucky there.
He heads to Cloud,clearly looking like he just got out of bed. His hair was messy and in a messy bun as he yawned. "Hey, wanna come in? Lucky doesn't like the cold." Squall heads over to his boyfriend and once close enough he leans in for a kiss, Lucky from his spot against his chest watching and figuring out that this new person must like his dad.
"I've missed you, been busy?"
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Date: 2022-12-19 07:12 am (UTC)Not that he's gonna complain about the view.
"Thought you said you had a guest--" Wait. Lucky? It's only then that Cloud notices the little dog, and after blinking at it for a moment, he sighs. "You meant the puppy." In which case, he does want to go inside, so he comes closer too to meet Squall halfway and returns the kiss readily.
He nods. "Been doing more deliveries cause of the snow. Setting up Tifa's bar. Trying to fix Zack's truck." He scowls a bit at that. Stupid fucking radio. "You?"
As Squall turns to lead them inside, just before they get to the door, Cloud surreptitiously reaches down with one gloved hand to give that ass a little squeeze, totally straight faced as if he's doing nothing out of the ordinary.
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Date: 2022-12-19 02:53 pm (UTC)"Been busy with this little guy and work really. It's been...kinda quiet a bit. Not sure I like it." He just shrugs it off as the two of them head inside. That is, he has to stop when Cloud grabs a handful of his ass and all but gives Squall a heart attack. Sure they've had sex many times before but this is really one of the first times Cloud's been grabby with him, it's really nice and he wasn't expecting it at all. His cheeks heat up a little and for a moment he stops walking and almost drops his key to the door.
"...guess you like my new shorts." His voice is almost at a whisper when he says it and he moves a bit closer to Cloud because of it. Maybe this talk isn't going to be bad?
When they are in his apartment He crouches down and unzips his jacket, letting Lucky out who quickly runs around the room doing a few happy zoomies before tip tapping on the wooden floors over to Cloud and sniff at his boot. Lucky moves away for a moment but then walks right back over to him and stands on his hind legs leaning against Cloud's leg. Yup he wants to be picked up for sure. His tongue is even hanging out a little.
"He's from our- er..my world. Been missing him."
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Date: 2022-12-26 10:45 pm (UTC)But...that's kinda what I'm afraid of. That a relationship without respect won't work out...that's why I gotta make him respect me. I don't... [He fidgets.] I don't wanna lose him.
...you really think I'm worrying for nothing? [It is reassuring to hear that Squall perceives Zell and Seifer as having a relationship of equals, but...it's hard for Zell to scrub the way Seifer looked from his mind. The way he sounded, and the words he said.]
You are helping, though. Both 'cause it's just...nice being able to talk about it and hear what you think, but also 'cause you're right. He does like it when people stand up to him. [Zell sits up a little straighter, squaring his shoulders.] So if he doesn't respect me...then telling him off is gonna help. If he does, then...I dunno. [He pauses.] Maybe he'll get mad I thought he didn't, but...I guess maybe he'll explain why he said the stuff he said. [He leans a little more into Squall.] Thanks, Squall.
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Date: 2022-12-30 06:26 pm (UTC)Seifer loves you and I'd bet my triple triad collection on that. He's not going to let you go. You won't lose him Zell, I can promise you it. In fact it's a guarantee.
[Squall wraps an arm around Zell's waist, not fully encircling him since Zell is a built yet compact man.] No worries Zell, I'm glad I could help somehow and I'll be here when you do talk to him in case you need back up or just want someone there who has your back. I don't want to lose either of you two either and I won't push you both away this time. I'm not going to do that ever again.
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Date: 2023-01-07 09:11 pm (UTC)[It feels good, being held by Squall like this, and Zell finally leans against him fully, resting his head against the other man's shoulder. He really does feel better - both reassured that things will work out okay in the end, and like he has something concrete he can do to make things better, And, of course, he's got Squall at his back.
At his side, too. Quite literally, at the moment. And, as Zell's worries about Seifer ease...he's starting to take a lot more notice of the guy he's currently with. Specifically that boy the shoulder under his head is big and broad. Squall's really filled out in those years he missed.
In short, it's starting to treacle-drip its way into Zell's head that he's with a hot guy he likes and is dating who's being very sweet to him, and he's no longer so preoccupied with his issues with a different guy to shield him from being affected by it.]
I mean...you're not gonna lose us, either. We're not going anywhere. Even if you do try to push us away. We're too stubborn to go.
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Date: 2023-01-26 03:16 pm (UTC)[Squall's own eyes close as he leans more against Zell, just enjoying the time together. His hand goes over to Zell's and he entwins their fingers, just a slight touch at the moment. He still doesn't want to push his luck with Zell but he does want to be close to him. They are boyfriends aren't they? He is allowed a little bit of touch.]
I'll remember that and try not to be too difficult for you both but...no promises right now. Sometimes I don't even realize how stubborn I am.
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Date: 2023-03-08 09:22 am (UTC)And then Squall...laces their fingers together, and Zell starts to blush. It's so...tender of a gesture. He feels like he's still not used to this new Squall, in how he's always surprising him...but the surprises are always good ones, so it's not like he's complaining. More like...it's because this Squall is always pleasantly surprising him that he wants to get to know him better. Maybe to the point where he's not surprised by him at all anymore.
He looks at Squall, who's got his eyes closed right now. And...shit. It's tempting...and they are dating, right? So maybe it's stupid to get hung up on worrying about it, because it's the kind of thing boyfriends do, isn't it? So he just...does it.
He leans up and kisses Squall, lightly, on the side of the mouth. He pulls back pretty quickly, his face on fire.]
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Date: 2023-03-16 03:05 am (UTC)With how Zen Squall is, he doesn't expect the kiss and at first doesn't react, taking a moment to even realize it happened and when he does his eyes open and his hand instinctively reached for the spot Zell kissed him at, a feint pinkness to his own cheeks.]
Zell?
[He looks over at him and notices the way Zell is much more red and embarrassed and so he does what he think might take the shyness away from them both and leans in to kiss the tip of Zell's nose. Is it going to help? No, probably not.]
text, the day after the Never Have I Ever
Date: 2023-06-09 06:02 am (UTC)What do you think about us taking on a new person at the bakery? He doesn't have any skills in this area, so I'd have to rely on you a little to help teach and keep an eye on him, but I'd like to do it, if you don't mind.